So Close...

I am so close to being home I can taste snow. In a few days I will be basking in the glory of most of you that dare read this really whiny blog (with the exception of roro and tracy). Being in Los Angeles during the fall and winter has been really trippy. It doesn't often dip below 50 degrees and even when I'm feeling toasty native Californians are wearing winter coats and beanies. Christmas decorations hang from palm trees and while "Let is Snow" hums at me from the radio it all feels like kind of a big joke. How can it be Christmas when it's not cold? How can Santa be on his way when my wet hair or boogers aren't freezing as I run to my car? It's pretty here and all with its' mild temperatures and mountains and glistening ocean but knowing that shoveling is in my near future warms my tiny grinch heart. Is it weird that I'd rather be cold and probably miserable than have incredibly mild weather all the time? I blame my stubborn Midwestern heart. I don't think it will let me enjoy mild weather too much in fear that I'll turn traitor. Besides I really enjoy making fun of my coworkers when they are "cold."

I do think I have figured out why people who move to California will sometimes stay here. I believe most of them don't live in Los Angeles proper... Chris and I went to Redondo Beach this weekend to celebrate his second cousin's wedding anniversary with some seafood. Oh. My. God. We got there early enough to explore the edge of the ocean poking out from the harbor and words cannot describe. Well maybe some like inner peace, glorious sparkling water, sensuous sounds of lapping water, you know crap like that. When his family came, our meal consisted of fresh caught crab that was so good it made me want to cry. And eat ten more. We ventured onto the mini boardwalk and wasted money in the arcade as well as checked out the other seafood joints that hawked fresh fish cooked to your liking. I looked across the water and was like oh I see. To love California you have to be near the things that make it awesome. Not stuck in the city that makes it suck. Silly me. While part of me wants to have this "real" California lifestyle (hanging out by the ocean and beaches or scaling some crazy mountain), another part doesn't. I know that I have never loved a city more than Chicago and that is probably because it's the only city I've lived in and almost all the people I love most in the world live there. If we could afford living near the ocean or up in the mountains I'd be a little afraid that my heart would lean another way. I think it would kill me to love another place. I know that while my mom is sympathetic to my bitching about Los Angeles, she can barely contain her joy that I hate it so much. That means that whatever babies come from me will live in the same city as her. Lucky for me and her Los Angeles is where I have to be and thus far is in no way superior to Chicago. I think either way even if I ended up liking California I could never make a permanent home here. Most of my people are in Chicago and they mean more to me than a pretty ocean or a glorious mountain scape.

That being said I have to make a better effort in adjusting to living here. I'm here for at least another 9 months and if I can find a job after AmeriCorps longer than that. I'm driving Chris and myself nuts with complaining and I'm no quitter damn it. I can't let this city win. It needs to know who it is messing with. I have created a little cheat sheet for me to enjoy my time here: 1) Deal with roaches. Apparently roaches are as common here as spiders and centipedes are in the world. Alright I'm exaggerating but it's a huge problem here (everyone has them) that can't be solved really without breaking some laws (like making residents allow exterminators to spray or completely bomb the building). I've done what I can for my apartment for now (with the legal help of Ms. McKinney) and while I'd like to get out of my apartment I probably won't have the legal standing. So I have to just deal with it and not let it drive me insane. And when possible move out and bomb/burn everything I own and hopefully find a roach free apartment. 2) Get some friends. I've been trying to hang out with my coworkers after our meetings so I have some friendly interactions with people. I don't really have anyone I can hang out with on a regular basis (Sami is a mom and a nurse and lives an hour away) and I think I have to force myself to make some friends. Ugh. 3) I joined a gym. While I probably shouldn't of it just sort of happened and I feel like it might help me de-stress myself and break out of my sitting at home and doing nothing rut. Now that I'm paying for it I just have to exercise and get out of the house or I'll be wasting relatively hard earned money. 4) Do more fun stuff in/out of Los Angeles. The days I can get out and do stuff are almost always the best. It takes my mind off my crappy job and apartment and lets me believe in fun again. I got to shake my crazy annoyed rut or I'll implode. The good thing is that I can post more about my adventures than my misadventures in Los Angeles. We'll see how it goes. Keep up good spirits for me wherever you are.


Here are some Redondo Beach pictures so instead of counting on my word picture you get a REAL one.