And I'm here!

Sorry for the infrequent posting my people (well maybe just Diana who I know has been checking) but I'm trying to find scattered internet while I get things settled in Los Angeles. So I'm here? WHAT?! The whole experience was very strange as I was moving. For three days on the road with my dad it felt like I was on an awkward vacation more than moving a carload of my shit to Los Angeles. More on that later, let me tell you about my situation now. Currently I live in a two bedroom apartment with four other people. The one roommate who shares a room with Chris has been sleeping on the couch so I have some relative privacy except when I want to try and get some internet or food. They are young, polite, and nice but one of them gives me the creeps and another one is stealing my milk. It's a typical boy apartment with sticky countertops, moldy food and scummy showers. It's not that bad but I can't wait to settle into our new one. We don't have a bed in the new one so we're still sleeping here. On an extra mattress while Tom (the creepy one) sleeps on Chris'. There is a reason for this I'm sure. Oh and a block away there is Hollywood Boulevard with stars on the ground, Man's Chinese and Kodak Theater, and wax museums galore. That's fucking trippy. There's really not much to it other than tourist traps. It's a total culture and geographical shock. I look down the street and I can see mountains in the distance. I have to put my parking break on and remember the oh so useless to me (until now) driver's ed instruction of how to park up and down hills. The flat terrain of my motherland full of sweet sweet corn and soybeans has not prepared me for driving uphill. It's really beautiful here and if it weren't Los Angeles with it's attitude I think I could completely get used to it. I sort of stick out a little bit with my Midwestern build and goofy three dollar t-shirts. I think I'm OK with it though. I've never really been into fashion and since I won't have enough money to buy food, I don't think I'll be worrying about it out here.

Signing the lease was really kind of scary. Giving away my money and signing into a 13 month lease means that no matter how bad this apartment could get I have to stay there or at least pay for it. That was really heavy. And...I found a dead bug. I don't know for sure if it was a cockroach but it really freaked me out. They spray every month for bugs and the landlord lives there so if there is a bug problem she's on it. She's young with three kids, one of which is an infant, and apparently wants to be my friend. This is could be good... or disastrous. Time will tell but it's nice to have an offer? I'm trying to keep a good perspective on everything because I have a tendency to think everything will blow up in my face. Can't do that here. It is really beautiful here.

So I'm going to leave with my favorite tale from the road. The day I almost DIED.

We were driving through Arizona (which I hate. No they didn't try to deport us but it was hot and full of asshole mountains) and my father wanted to stop and take the edge off with a beer. He's a high functioning alcoholic usually but moving me across country made him real edgy. He requested to "chug" a beer in my car which I vehemently denied so we had to make a pit stop. We saw a sign for "petrified wood" and we took the exit listed. Right as we got off I knew there was something weird about it. It was just a dirt road that lead up a mini mountain. As we drove up we started seeing the huge paper mache animals that sprinkled the rocks... A big tiger, a brachiosaurus, a pterodactly with a mannequin riding it? As we turned an ostrich farm revealed itself on the right with the big bastards running around in their pen hissing at one another. On the left there were mannequins posed next to dead cars and a wood shack. The door was open and we walked in where there tons of different shaped rocks, petrified wood, and dinosaur stuff. It looked empty and my dad and I started poking around when a tall, handsome, black man walked out. He was overtly nice, which I don't trust because I'm from Chicago, and he started blabulating about the stuff he had to sell. I asked for the bathroom and he pointed down a narrow hallway. There were locked doors and the faint smell of pee as I approached the bathroom. It was clean looking but reeked of pee. As I sat down I looked to my left at a tub with the shower curtain drawn. I saw the faint outline of what looked like a person. Knowing from the collection outside, I knew it was probably a mannequin. Had to be. I slowly drew back the curtain and confirmed my suspicions but still had to stifle my scream. Fucking creepy. After the bathroom my dad was no where to be found and I was left alone with Lester. I tried to be polite and look at the things he was selling but was getting more and more creeped out. When my dad showed up Lester offered us a chance to feed the ostriches. "Be careful, they haven't eaten yet." I grabbed a cup of feed and walked up to the hissing enormous birds. Confused as to how I was going to feed them over this enormous cage I saw an arm hole for me to put the feed in. I shakily tried to do this and when the first bird bit the side of the cup I dropped the feed. I didn't want to lose a finger to this damn bird. Afterwards we hastily left hearing the pterodactyl wings creaking.